genocides and kabbalah

pasting mysterious words on my wall, ordering symbols in the mail, listening to miroslaw balka talk about genocide.
remebering kabbalah and a star of david tattoo.
thinking about the herero genocide.
thinking about the darkness inside balka'a sculpture "how it is."
babi yar.
http://channel.tate.org.uk/media/47872674001

of berlin, and the terrors of architecture, how oppressive it felt, and if i were there, i would have a thousand stars on my neck.
lost another friend over anti-semitism
hate is alive and well and
hiding behind a placid smile.

if israel uses white phosphorus in the war industry as US armies used white phosphorus to maim innocents in falluja . . .
am yisrael chai
and hamsa

white phosphorus in gaza

of the herero genocide
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herero_and_Namaqua_Genocide

must learn to speak hebrew and arabic
the CIA files returned, from the east full of the minutiae.
the atomic energy commission was nazi, and my grandfather cavorted with that team and associated data compilers, all the way through vietnam.

was it assassination?

and the "anthropology" in okinawa, what was it?  and the interment of japanese here at home.  what was that?  the anti-communist desk in san diego 1939.
no eichmann in jerusalem, no high crimes, total dissolution of identity. a bureaucrat.
advice.
no names, no past, no monument, no temporary exhibition, nothing, nothing at all for waking up in hiroshima, nothing at all for the scribomania of thieves, nothing for the named starred designee, france a bloated cartoon of itself, crushing the slave class more visibly and that's where it hurts, the palpable sadism in le banlieue, and LAPD another bullet in a child, a child with autism, death factories fall apart, killers, and the children like green buds among the cinders.

i do not want to lose idit.
i wish she would not smoke.
i wish i could speak to her.
i am relinquishing all my particular love for the infinite transpersonal loves, as so much defeat and so much denial, leaves me thankful for the near to nothing i felt tonight with my friend from tel aviv, who plays piano, and does not believe in war.